Anxiety Yet Again Today

 

Balance stone with spa on the river coast

Ever want to balance rocks like in the picture, on a riverbank or beach?

I do.

I wish I could right now but when the snow goes away I will walk down to the crick and find some stones to balance.

 

native Flute music

I loved listening to this it really helps me find my calm

Julia

Today just didn’t start off peacefully like I wish it would.

Petie barking, Charlie snoring not hearing the barking.

When Charlie was smoking we couldn’t sleep in the same bed cause of my asthma.

But now he has stopped smoking so it is nice to have my furnace man next to me to keep me warm.

BUT sleeping on my own or just with my ShihTzu 2-year-old pup Sassy, I always woke up happy.

No Petite barking cause he slept with Charlie.

I got to wake up on my own, do my stretches, say my morning mantra which comes from my Daddy by the way, “thank you for the pain I feel this morning it means I am not dead and can live another wonderful day”

I got my coffee heated it up in the micro, took the laundry out of the washer to put into the dryer.

Pick up my coffee on the second beep. and come into the living room where my computer is and begin to sip.

I hear Charlie on the phone … wondering who is he talking to?

Less than a minute later he said, “gonna call the ssdi about not getting the spousal check you need to pick up,” and he is gone.

Where is my quiet, where is my savoring the coffee, where is the quiet-looking over my emails and planning the day out?

That is when the Anxiety hits, on hold, that awful music playing over and over… trying to remember my ss number, my address, my date of birth, turns out wasn’t as bad as it was yesterday. Nice Young man, Mike lovely voice, lovely manners. Mike said, “hopefully will have the check, in the right bank account. In a few days.

I take a deep breath. Listen to my native American flute music.

 ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Then Charlie barges in. He wants the mail I got about the reimbursement of medicare part b, he calls the number and said be ready to pick up.

ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Now I am deep breathing and saying it’s okay I can do this.

The lady asks me the usual questions. I answer slowly.. then she said I am transferring you to Medicaid, medicare blah blah blah and she reads a script that was so long and she read it so fast and breathed twice and quickly said have a good day and thank for calling and music again … 15 min later we get disconnected.

time to get ready for my Aquatic pt, Charlie goes out the door and the wind blows the storm door out of his hand the plexiglass breaks!

Calgon take me away.

Blessings to you all, I would love to read about your day.

Julia

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